"Real Men"

Hypermasculinity can be expressed in many forms. Chances are you've seen examples of it either through real-life experiences or popular media like television and films. Examples of hypermasculinity are often heard from men when they talk about what constitutes a 'real man' (Trigger Warning). These are often stereotypical comments such as "real men don't cry" or "real men only watch sports on tv". There is an almost endless list of what 'real men' do or don't do. What many people, especially men, don't realize however, is that hypermasculine attitudes set the stage for other attitudes and behaviors, like the normalization of violence toward women, to take form.


This is one example of hypermasculinity that I encountered lately. On the surface, it seems fairly harmless, especially because many people see it as funny...a joke. Let's take a look at what I'm talking about.

http://glocktalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=985177

When reading the 'Hurt Feelings Report' one can immediately pick up on the condescending view of the writer, toward the person, who is also presumably male. Pay attention to the language used to demean the person who would supposedly initiate this 'report'. Notice anything? The language used to mock the person's 'hurt feelings' is misogynistic. So, in effect, the creator of the form wants to discourage men from straying away from stereotypical male behavior by attacking his masculinity using language that is typical of someone who has a hatred or distrust of women.

A problem we should all be aware of is that the attitude which fosters creations such as this is already considered normal in our society. It's difficult to find television, radio talk shows, films, music, or other media sources that don't actively promote this line of thinking. I know, I hear some of you saying "So what? Their just joking or it's only a movie". Well, that joke or that movie isn't just one joke or just one movie. It's part of our culture and it helps to socialize our attitudes and behavior. That overt theme in many of the popular media sources creates a permissive environment which is linked to the rampancy of sexual violence in our society.

The image you see above is a scale of the increasing degrees of prejudice established by Gordon Allport in 1954. Allport's scale, as it is known, illustrates how things like the 'Hurt Feelings Report' can lead to discrimination and violence. The way this works is much like the Foot in the Door phenomenon some of you may be familiar with. Basically, when things like the 'Hurt Feelings Report' become normalized, it creates an environment in which some people feel comfortable enough to take it a step further. If the new behavior (in this case, avoiding those to whom the disparaging remarks were made) goes unchecked (or worse, becomes encouraged through others...groupthink) it too becomes normalized and the process repeats. The severity escalates each time with a portion of the group progressing to the next higher level until there are people among us who feel no remorse for committing sexual assaults.

Jackson Katz, an anti-sexist activist and co-founder of Mentors in Violence Prevention, does a superb job of explaining how men perpetuate hypermasculine attitudes which then develop, for some men, into violent behavior towards women. In his video, "Tough Guise", Dr. Katz explains that this cycle will continue until normalized, hypermasculine attitudes are challenged by other men. Another great resource by Jackson Katz is his book "The Macho Paradox: Why Some Men Hurt Women and How ALL Men Can Help".

Challenging male stereotypes as a man will not make one popular among his peers and explanations for how these attitudes can hurt people may often fall on deaf ears. In terms of rape and sexual assault however, even one is too many. That being said, if I can influence the attitude of even one person and prevent them from doing something horrible, how can that not be worth it?